In January, my husband, our one-year-old son, and I moved into an apartment in the Silicon Valley of California, 2,000 miles away from most of our family and friends. A grand 325 square feet, it will be our home for the next year while my husband completes a year long fellowship for his PhD. Though I had been preparing for this move for months, I spent very little time imagining what our life would look like in the day-to-day once we were settled in.
Well, that time has come. The dishes are put away, what decorations we can display are hung, and I am somewhat at a loss. As I ruminated and prayed on how to make the best of our time here, I was reminded of a Catholic mom on Instagram, who shared with her community a practice that has helped her in her life at home with two toddlers and a baby.
Three years ago, Instagram creator and writer Sarah White (who goes by @millenialfiat on the platform) learned that the Church has a dedication for each day of the week in the liturgical year. Most will be familiar with dedicating Fridays to the remembrance of the Crucifixion and the celebration of Sundays as a mini Easter. Less commonly celebrated, Wednesdays are devoted to St. Joseph, husband of Mary and foster father of Christ.
At the time, with two small children and a moderately large house, Sarah found herself overwhelmed. Remembering that St. Joseph is the patron saint of workers, and often thought of as being quiet and unseen, she found camaraderie: “A lot of my cleaning and what I do is quiet and unseen,” she said.
Taking inspiration from the Church’s devotion, Sarah began to save certain cleaning tasks – such as vacuuming and laundering linens – for Wednesdays. In her Instagram highlight titled “Saint J Wed” she says that she uses the Church’s dedication of Wednesdays to St. Joseph as an opportunity to “keep my sanity, live liturgically, pray for my family, and keep my house clean.”
I have been practicing these Wednesdays on and off with her since making the decision to stay home with our son, and haven’t been able to resist the Mean Girls association. Rather than an exclusive, arbitrarily governed friend group, though, Sarah’s community is made up of predominantly Catholic moms whose entire aim is to make each other feel seen and included – on Wednesdays, we vacuum.
For women looking to add this devotion into their routine, one of the best features is a low barrier of entry. Sarah shared, “I start the day and just say ‘St. Joseph, please take everything I do today as an act of prayer, that you would intercede for me and my family as we grow in holiness.’ And then everything that day is now a prayer.”
…everything that day is now a prayer…
Recently, her goals for Wednesdays have been smaller than usual, as she found out she is expecting again. With a five year old, a three and a half year old, and a 15-month old in tow, her prayer has been to get to dinner time. “A caveat that’s really important to remember is that you don’t need to come to Wednesday with a list,” she said. “You need to come to it with prayer. It doesn’t matter if you get to your whole list. What matters is that you offered everything as a prayer to the Lord, ultimately.”
In his Angelus address on March 19, 2006, Pope Benedict XVI said this about the foster father of Christ:
“From the example of St Joseph we all receive a strong invitation to carry out with fidelity, simplicity and modesty the task that Providence has entrusted to us. I think especially of fathers and mothers of families, and I pray that they will always be able to appreciate the beauty of a simple and industrious life, cultivating the conjugal relationship with care and fulfilling with enthusiasm the great and difficult educational mission.”
St. Joseph has played a large role in my faith life, and in my marriage. I attended church and school at the Cathedral of St. Joseph growing up, and my husband and I were engaged in a church bearing St. Joseph’s name. We were married at my home parish in 2021 – the year Pope Francis declared the Year of St. Joseph. Yet, it wasn’t until this season of my life – motherhood – that I found the need and the opportunity, with Sarah’s help, to take inspiration in the “fidelity, simplicity, and modesty,” of St. Joseph’s example.
Taking St. Joseph Wednesdays to heart, I realized that though I cannot make elaborate meals in our small kitchen, I can make thoughtful dishes that nourish my family. There is very limited wall space, but I can use the little we have to make it feel like home. Just like our apartment, my efforts feel very small right now. But the example of St. Joseph reminds me that these efforts may just be the most important of my life.
“Little by little, it is the work that brings us closer to the heart of christ”
For Sarah, St. Joseph Wednesdays are not only practically helpful, but they also provide an opportunity for her to include her children. “You need age, and you need ability,” she said of doing chores with young children. “They don’t see it as a burden, like we may see it, though. They just see it as being with mom and helping out and being useful – and toddlers want that.”
Like Sarah, I have found that this practice helps sanctify what often feels like unseen work. Just as the Lord chose Joseph to carry bravely and silently the burdens of the Holy Family, the work of our family is entrusted to us by Him, as Pope Benedict XVI points out. It may feel small, unappreciated, or looked over, but “poco a poco” as Sarah said, little by little, it is the work that brings us closer to the heart of Christ.
St. Joseph, pray for us! ■ ■
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